


The Road Ahead aka Vulcan’s Folly

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 20:33:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: A shuttle + command team = disaster.





	The Road Ahead aka Vulcan’s Folly

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday story for Pongo.
> 
> Thanks to Ky for the beta.

“Okay, Kathryn. We’re well clear of Voyager. Can you tell me now? How on earth did you get Tuvok to agree to let us both go on this mission? We don’t have the greatest track record and he looked less than pleased when we left, but he didn’t say a word. You must have pulled something pretty special out of the bag to silence our resident protocol zealot.” Chakotay adjusted the rear thruster of the Flyer and then turned to his companion.

“Hey, what’s this with the ‘ _WE_ don’t have a great track record’. To date, I think it’s you three, me one, in the shuttle destruction stakes.”

He gave her a peevish frown, which she ignored with a shrug. “I just explained to Tuvok that we were in a quiet sector of space and that it wasn’t against regulations, per se, for the Captain and First Officer to be off the ship at the same time. Granted, it wasn’t encouraged, but if I stayed behind it would leave him free to supervise Neelix’s security protocol training. With both of us gone, he would be far too busy and would be forced to delegate that responsibility. He pondered that for all of two nanoseconds and then agreed, saying that he felt it would be a good break for the two of us and to take our time.” Her lips were pursed as she fought to maintain her bland expression. “I thought it was very sporting of him, don’t you?” She turned towards Chakotay and her face broke into a radiant smile.

He grinned and shook his head. She was something else. Poor Tuvok never stood a chance. Who did? She was like a force of nature.

Chakotay was still grinning broadly as he reached over and tapped at the plasma regulators. His eyes flicked up and met hers. She raised her eyebrows slightly and they both burst out laughing.

“Kathryn, that’s cruel. You’re still going to make him do it, aren’t you?”

She tried to look innocent but it didn’t work. She was just too pleased with her coup and gave him a quick nod.

Chakotay shook his head. “That’s cruel.”

“No, it’s not. He deserves every moment of Neelix’s company after that endurance training session he put me through last week. That was beyond cruel. He’ll think twice before he hangs me upside down from the Tenaran Ice Cliffs again.” Chakotay chuckled at the thought and she flicked his arm with the back of her hand. “Don’t laugh. Your turn will come. I might even have some suggestions for Tuvok where your training is concerned. I’d be very nice to me if I were you.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” His eyes darkened and he gave her an intense look.

She met his gaze and swallowed hard. Damn.

Unable to stop her instinctive reaction, she pulled away, cursing herself she stood up. Damn, this always happened when they were alone. She really wished it wouldn’t. It was far too distracting. Time to retreat.

She turned away from him and looked everywhere but at him. “If you have everything under control here, I’m going aft for a coffee. Call me if you need me?” She shot a look at him when she realised what she’d said.

His eyes flashed momentarily.

If they’d been on Voyager, she would have ignored his reaction or given him a saucy look as punishment, but in the intimate confines of the flyer, tension filled the air and the sizzle of attraction reared its ever present head.

Kathryn took a step back and muttered something about not being too long and then she scurried to the rear of the craft.

Damn, damn, damn. She thought to herself. Why did she always do that?

Chakotay turned and watched her retreat, his chin dropping to his chest as he swung back towards the viewscreen and tapped his fingers on the console.

Once he heard the aft doors hiss shut, he huffed out a bitter laugh. He’d done it again, sent her scurrying away. She was so hard to get a handle on.

Sometimes she played the game and other times, like now, she ran for the hills and he could never tell what mood she would be in. They’d been laughing and enjoying themselves and then, bam! Down comes the boom and she’s gone. Surely she knew that she could trust him?

They’d been bantering like this for years and he’d never once overstepped the boundaries. Not ever. It upset him. He could have sworn there was a look of fear in her eyes and it hurt him to think that she would even consider that he would do anything that would compromise or harm her. How could she even think that? He would never understand her.

He’d accepted long ago that they would only ever be friends, but the spark of attraction was powerful and he didn’t see that there was any harm in keeping the flame ignited. They were adults; they could handle it, but for some reason it made her uncomfortable.

A thought struck him. Maybe she wasn’t uncomfortable. Maybe she was uncomfortable for him. Perhaps she didn’t feel that way about him anymore and was embarrassed. Oh shit! He hadn’t thought of that. It would explain so much.

The realisation brought with it understanding, but bitter pain as well.

From now on, he would have to maintain their interactions at a professional level. If that was the way she wanted to play it, he had no choice. He frowned and felt something give inside him. This wasn’t what he wanted.

Chakotay turned and looked at the closed doors that led to the aft section then, with a heavy heart, turned back to the controls.

Kathryn sat sipping her coffee in the lonely aft section of the Flyer.

She’d done it again.

Poor Chakotay, he must wonder what the hell was going on. She honestly didn’t mean to do it, this time or any of the other myriad of times she’d done it. Running away when the intensity of feeling became too much.

What was she so afraid of? He’d always been an absolute gentleman and, for heaven’s sake, she was a grown woman and had fought off, metaphorically and literally, many unwanted suitors over the years. It had never worried her. It took her a moment of deep soul searching to realise what the problem really was.

It wasn’t that his attentions were unwanted. She loved the banter, the teasing and the flirting. The trouble was that she had a hard time not taking it further. She loved him.

God, she bit her lip at the thought.

On the ship, where they were surrounded by crew, it was easy to maintain the distance. It had become a habit borne out of necessity. But here, alone with him, and in the intimacy of the Flyer, it was much harder to control.

It would be so easy to let the barriers drop, but it would spell disaster for the command structure, not to mention her peace of mind.

She slugged down the last of her coffee and pulled out her knitting. She laid the throw across her lap. It was his birthday present and it was almost finished. Just in time too. His birthday was the day after tomorrow and a couple more rows and it was done.

Her hand stroked over the soft homespun wool. She’d sacrificed quite a few cups of coffee so she could replicate the yarn for this. She smiled and then frowned. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

She studied the throw again and decided that it was an appropriate representation of their relationship. It was a complex pattern, but a perfect weave of light and dark, rough and smooth, and strong and fragile.

Using wools in a mix of warm, earthy tones, she’d interwoven the yarns in intricate patterns, giving the throw an almost organic texture. She was sure he would love it. It was very ‘him’.

As the click of the needles soothed her troubled mind, she concentrated on the pattern and weave and let her mind rest.

Half an hour later, she was casting off the last few stitches when there was a knock on the door. “Captain?”

Damn. “Just a minute, Chakotay.” She quickly cast off the last two stiches and shoved the throw into her bag with the needles and the remainder of the wool. After a quick check around to make sure there were no telltale threads lying about, she moved to the door and hit the opening mechanism. “Sorry, Chakotay, I was just finishing something.” She smiled. “A surprise.”

He gave her a perfunctory nod. “We’re coming up on the asteroid field. I need you at ops.”

She frowned slightly at his tone, but didn’t comment.

“The planet is on the other side of the field. I’m having trouble scanning through the gravimetric interference so I’ve plotted a course around the field just to be on the safe side.”

As he was giving her the report, she made her way to the ops station and took a seat. He took up his position at the helm.

Kathryn was busy with the sensors. “There seems to be a passage through, it’s coming up on our starboard side. It will save us an hour or two. What do you think, Chakotay? I think it’s worth a try.”

“You’re the captain. What are my headings?” His attitude made her sit up and look at him. He swung around to see what the delay was. “Captain? The headings?”

“Oh, four point five, mark six, but I’d drop to quarter impulse until we’re on the other side. There are some strange looking plasma eddies in there. Better to be safe than sorry.”

Again he nodded without speaking.

She studied his rigid back and the tight set of his jaw. She knew what was wrong. He was upset with her dash from the flight deck. How could she blame him? If it was the other way around, she’d be angry too. “Chakotay?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“I’m sorry about before.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Captain.”

“Look, Chakotay, there are some things that…” Her console began to beep.

“Hard to port, Chakotay!” She yelled and he reacted almost immediately, sending the small craft shearing off to the left.

Kathryn was thrown to the floor and had a hard time getting back to the sensors. The inertial dampers were straining under the stress of the abrupt turn.

Chakotay finally righted the small vessel, but alarms started going off everywhere. “We’ve lost sensors, and shields are at fifty percent.”

“What the hell happened?” Kathryn was trying to make some sense of the readouts. They were all over the place. “The gravimetric eddies must be interfering with ships systems. The scanners are off line too. Can we go back the way we came?”

Chakotay was wrestling with the controls in the cockpit. “I don’t think so. We’ve been tossed around so much that without the sensors I don’t know which way is back. I’ll try and cut to thrusters and visually navigate through the asteroids.”

Kathryn made her way to the cockpit. “Sensors are useless. I’ll help guide you through.”

It took them over an hour, but, working together, they made it through to the other side of the asteroid belt.

Kathryn sat with her eyes glued to the forward viewport and yelled vector changes to Chakotay. She was rather pleased with what they’d achieved, but by the time they emerged on the other side, the ships systems were in really bad shape.

“We’re going to have to send out a hail to Voyager and land on the planet. I don’t know what was in that asteroid field but its fried half the systems on the ship. The environmental systems are in a bad way as well. We’ve only got about three hours of life support left.” She looked over at him. “I’m not looking forward to seeing Tuvok. There’s nothing worse than a Vulcan with an ‘I told you so’ look on his face.”

He turned towards her, but she was busy with the controls, trying to cobble together the ops console to get basic sensors on line.

Here they were staring death in the face again, and she was making jokes. She was something else and, just at the moment, he was having trouble seeing the funny side of this.

He was again responsible for her life and the responsibility weighed heavy. He’d held her dead in his arms once before and he didn’t ever want to repeat that. Nightmares still visited about that close call.

Turning away before she caught him staring, he began to analyse what systems were salvageable and which ones were beyond help.

She felt his eyes on her, but didn’t turn towards him. She feared what she might see. His officious and aloof attitude worried her and she knew her flippant attitude wasn’t helping, but she wasn’t sure what to do.

They needed to talk, but again, their lives were in the balance and survival had taken priority.

These situations came as a stern reminder as to why a relationship was a bad idea. She shook her head when she realised that it wouldn’t matter if they were lovers or not. Her mind was still filled with concern for his welfare as she was sure, his was filled with hers.

Back to business.

She’d got a vague reading on the jury rigged sensors. “The planet is Class L. Oxygen/Argon. We should be able to survive, but the temperatures are extreme. If we have a choice, landing somewhere below the equatorial line would be good, but I suppose that’s being a bit picky, isn’t it.”

He gave her a look. “Kathryn, if we make it down alive, we’ll be doing well. More and more systems are going off line. I’ve got limited navigation and the only way I can steer the Flyer is with manoeuvring thrusters. Take the engines and see if you can slow us down?” He was wrestling with the controls, trying to keep their nose up. Now was not the time for formalities.

She nodded. “Yes, Sir.” Looking up, she was startled for a split second, the eerie dark landscape of the planet was looming large in the viewscreen and they were hurtling towards the barren terrain too fast.

She threw on the reverse thrusters and tilted them to forty five degrees in an attempt to get the nose up.

It worked. Sort of. Their trajectory slowed and the Flyer levelled, but they were still dropping like a stone through the atmosphere. Shit!

“Can… you… get it… into glide… mode?” Her voice came out in a staccato as the small vessel shuddered and shook under the stresses.

One of the consoles to her left exploded and shot sparks and pieces of burning shrapnel into the air. One collected her cheek and she felt blood start to trickle down her face. Her fingers flew to the wound. Yes, there was a gash on her cheek, but nothing life threatening.

Chakotay was gripping the console with one hand to keep steady, while his other hand danced frantically over the controls. He grabbed the joystick and held on for grim death, trying to gain some control over what was going to be a very heavy landing.

The ground sped towards them and they turned towards one another just before they hit. Their eyes met for an instant and everything was there for both to see.

Kathryn reached for him then, with a roar and a deafening crunch, the world went black.

* * *

Kathryn moved her head. It hurt. She moved it again. It hurt a lot, but in a way that was reassuring. It meant she was alive, which was more than she’d expected. She wriggled her toes and fingers. They worked, things were looking up, but opening her eyes turned out to be a mistake. She squinted into the light, her head throbbing painfully. The smell of burning systems and leaking plasma filled the air inside the Flyer.

“Chak…” She coughed and then groaned. It felt like her side was about to explode. It didn’t take a medical tricorder to know that she had broken ribs. Damn. She took a steadying breath, nice and shallow and then tried again. “Chakotay. Can you hear me?”

Silence.

She moved her head to look around her. There was wreckage everywhere. It didn’t look like there was a single piece of equipment that had survived the crash intact. “Chakotay!” He had to be here somewhere and he had to be alive. She wouldn’t contemplate anything else, it just didn’t factor into her conscious thought. “Chakotay!! Please answer me?”

She listened carefully, over the crackle and hiss of escaping plasma. Was that a groan?

With a huge amount of effort, she got one of her elbows underneath her and levered herself up into a semi reclining position. Her ribs screamed at her. Gritting her teeth, she scrabbled about until she was on her knees and, wrapping her arm around her middle, she looked around her. There he was. Over under the Ops console.

Hauling herself to her feet, but still in a crouch as she held her side, she staggered over to him and fell with a jolt to her knees beside him. “Chakotay.” She could hardly talk, tears burned in her eyes, the pain in her side was cruel.

She touched his cheek, it was still warm. She then felt for a pulse in his neck. Relief washed over her. He was still alive

Her first priority was to find a med kit and to get out of the Flyer. Leaking plasma would make the interior of the Flyer uninhabitable very soon. Although quite a bit of it was escaping through a gaping hole in the forward viewscreen. It probably explained why they hadn’t asphyxiated already.

On her knees, she shuffled forward and pulled a cover away from the bulkhead. She grabbed the med kit and shuffled back to Chakotay’s side. With a shaking hand she ran the tricorder over him.

Severe concussion and various bumps and bruises. Turning it on herself, she wasn’t surprised to find three broken ribs, but she also had a bruised lung and an impressive array of contusions. Her head still ached, there was a huge bump over her temple, but she had no concussion. She sighed. None of her injuries were particularly life threatening, but they were painful and got in the way of what she had to do.

Chakotay’s concussion was a concern, he had considerable cerebral swelling already and it was only likely to get worse.

First, she held the hypospray to Chakotay’s neck and gave him a dose of Trianoline and administered a dose of painkiller to herself. The affect was almost immediate.

With the pain under control, she was able to put the corset splint around her ribs and then set about organising their survival.

A groan from Chakotay sent her back to his side and she ran the tricorder over him again. “Chakotay.”

His eyes fluttered open and he groaned again. “We’re alive?”

Kathryn tried to suppress her smile, but she was so glad to see him awake. “Yes. We are. The only casualty is the Flyer.” She quirked her brow. “That makes it four to one now.”

He gave her a look and then shook his head gently. “B’Elanna’s going to kill us and I’m not looking forward to the look on Tuvok’s face.” Kathryn chuckled and then groaned. Laughing and broken ribs wasn’t a good combination.

His eyes snapped towards her, filled with concern. “Kathryn?”

“I’m alright. It only hurts when I laugh.”

Chakotay pushed himself into a sitting position, but by the time he was leaning against the wall he was ashen.

Kathryn placed her hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you should lie down again. You don’t look too good.”

He raised his brow at her. “Hey, you’re no oil painting yourself. I’ll be alright. I’ve just got to get my sea legs.” She held the hypo to his neck and gave him another shot. His face relaxed almost straight away and a little colour returned to his cheeks. “That’s better, thank you.”

Kathryn rested her hand against his cheek and smiled. “We’ve got to get out of here. Do you think you can stand?”

He took her hand and kissed it quickly before he staggered to his feet. It happened so quickly that Kathryn almost thought she’d imagined it. He was standing leaning against a shattered console and his hand appeared in front of her and she looked up at him.

“Don’t analyse it too much, Kathryn. I’m just glad you’re alive. Here, I’ll help you up.” Grateful for his assistance she got to her feet and leaned against the bulkhead.

“We have to get out of here. The leaking plasma is becoming a problem. Can you move?”

Chakotay blinked a few times and then stood straight. “Yes, I should be okay. Let’s get the survival gear together.”

The moved around the cabin as quickly as their injuries would allow, gathering all that they might need to survive on the planet’s surface.

Chakotay was beginning to cough and Kathryn hit the opening mechanism for the exit. It creaked open and a blast of cool air hit them. She’d thought that it might be like this. Bitterly cold during the night and blisteringly hot during the day. The perfect vacation spot.

She nodded towards Chakotay. “Let’s go, Commander. We can camp close by. Hopefully, by tomorrow all of the plasma will have vented and we can use the Flyer for protection during the heat of the day. I’d say we’re going to need it.”

Chakotay took a quick look around the cabin to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything essential and then he followed Kathryn out into the night.

Kathryn scanned the immediate vicinity and pointed to the right. “There are some rock formations in that direction.”

Turning on their SIM beacons, they walked gingerly over the rough terrain until, about thirty metres from the crashed Flyer, they found a large outcropping and set up a temporary camp under its overhang. The emergency beacon was their first priority and, once that was activated, they organised their camp. They spread their blankets on the ground, heated up some rocks with their phasers for warmth and had a quick meal of ration bars and water.

Kathryn was keeping a close eye on Chakotay. She knew he was trying to hide is discomfort, but she could see him struggling. He was looking sallow and sweaty and she retrieved the tricorder and ran it over him, ignoring his protests.

“I’m fine, Kathryn. Really. I’m just a little worn out and need some sleep.”

She gave him a disbelieving look. “Sure, just like I’m fine. And I can tell you honestly, that I feel like I’ve been hit by a shuttle – which I suppose isn’t too far from the truth.” She gave him another shot of Trianoline and frowned when she realised they were down to their last couple of doses.

Her ribs were beginning to ache unbearably again and her head was throbbing so she gave herself another shot of painkiller and hoped that Voyager would find them before too long.

They had enough rations for a few days, but only enough analgesics and Trianoline for another day. Kathryn cursed the fact that this always happened to them… well, it seemed to. She hoped that Tuvok was pedantic enough to start a search immediately.

She tried to calculate how long it would take Voyager to realise they’d gone missing. They weren’t due back for another 2 days, but they were supposed to contact the ship every 12 hours. Their first communication would be due in two hours and, once that was missed, she was sure that Tuvok would start a search.

If luck was against them, which would be par for the course, it could still take Voyager another 24 to 48 hours to find them. The interference from the asteroid field would make long range scans almost impossible and they’d deviated from their course.

Space was a big place under these circumstances.

She looked over at Chakotay. His eyelids were drooping and she scanned him again. The cerebral swelling seemed to have slowed for the time being and they both needed some sleep. Kathryn used two of the tricorders to set up a perimeter alarm.

They hadn’t detected any lifeforms in their vicinity, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

They made themselves as comfortable as possible on the ground and Kathryn used her phaser to reheat the rocks, adding a few more in hope that they would retain enough warmth to keep them comfortable for the night.

“Chakotay?” She touched his shoulder gently and whispered.

He opened his eyes and looked at her blearily. “Hmmm?”

“I’m going to lie here beside you. We need to maintain body warmth. Is there anywhere that is too sore on this side?”

He shook his head and raised his arm so she could cuddle into his side. Kathryn smiled warmly and lay down carefully, wriggling a few times until she found a reasonably comfortable position for her aching ribs. She took one last look at his pale face and frowned before she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

As exhausted as she was, sleep evaded her.

Worry about Chakotay was foremost in her mind and then the concern that Voyager might not be able to find them in time. Why was it that problems always seemed so much bigger and insurmountable in the dark?

She sighed quietly and then thought about where she was. Lying in Chakotay’s arms. She snuggled closer. All the foolishness of the afternoon faded into insignificance in situations like this. Life and death had a habit of putting things into perspective.

Chakotay coughed and she sat up and looked at him. His eyes were open. “Chakotay, are you alright?”

He turned towards her and gave her a wan smile. “I think so. I can’t sleep though. Stupid really, I’m so tired.”

Kathryn dropped her head back onto his shoulder. “I can’t sleep either. Shall we talk for a little while?”

“Sure. What would you like to talk about?”

Kathryn shrugged and regretted it instantly. Damn ribs. She took a breath and blew it out slowly. The pain subsided. “How about we get our story straight for Tuvok? He’s not going to be happy and will be completely unbearable for the next month, at least.”

“Good idea. Okay, who’s going to take the blame?”

“Well, it wasn’t my fault.” Kathryn snapped and felt him chuckle.

“Oh, alright. I’ll be the fall guy. With any luck, I’ll be unconscious and I won’t have to look at his face.”

Kathryn frowned and a lump formed in her throat. “You’re going to be fine. You’re not allowed to be anything other than fine. I won’t allow it.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

“I’m not joking, Chakotay. I can’t do this without you.”

“Of course you can. Kathryn, you can do anything.”

“Okay, try this then. I don’t want to do this without you. Besides whom else am I going to blame for shuttle crashes if you’re not around?”

“Point taken.” He leant down and kissed the top of her head. Kathryn froze at his open show of affection but he continued. “Oh, and by the way. I love you too.”

Kathryn started and then regretted her sharp move. Ribs, damn. “I didn’t say anything about loving you.”

He kissed the top of her head again. “You don’t have to Kathryn. I know. We both know and that’s why you ran away today on the flyer. It doesn’t change anything, but I like the idea of you knowing. Just in case.”

“Stop with the ‘just in case’ crap. Nothing is going to happen to you. Tuvok will find us. He’ll keep us under lock and key until we get back to the Alpha Quadrant and … yes, I love you.” She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the jaw. “We should get some sleep.”

“We should. Goodnight, Kathryn.”

She stared up at the ceiling of their makeshift shelter and whispered. “Goodnight, Chakotay.”

There was no way she would be able to sleep now. She was regretting her words already. What in God’s name had possessed her to tell him of her feelings? Talk about complicate their lives, and all because they were lying injured in the dark.

You’d think she’d have more resilience than that. But it seemed with Chakotay resilience didn’t enter into the equation. She was hopeless. She corrected herself. No, she was hopelessly in love with Chakotay and now he knew. Tomorrow she’d have to set some more parameters. Her heart shrivelled at the thought.

Tomorrow….

His arm tightened around her. It was almost as if he knew what she was thinking. She turned carefully, moving closer to him and decided that, for tonight, she’d just forget about parameters and what tomorrow held.

She felt his body relax into sleep and she followed him moments later.

It was several hours later that Kathryn opened her eyes and squinted into the light.

She eased herself up and away from Chakotay’s side and checked the time. It was later than she’d thought. After 0800 their time and well into the morning by the look of the planet’s sun.

Chakotay! He was still sleeping. She grabbed the tricorder. No, he wasn’t sleeping, he was unconscious. Damn, she should have woken during the night to check on him.

She shook his shoulder and tried to rouse him. Checking the tricorder again, it showed the cerebral swelling had increased. She rifled through the med kit and found two more vials of Trianoline, but that was all. She gave him one and herself another pain killer and then tried to rouse him again.

This time he moaned but still didn’t waken.

“Don’t you do this to me, Chakotay. I told you last night that I couldn’t do it without you. You wake up, damn it.” She was mumbling beneath her breath as she ran the tricorder over him one last time. His head injury was severe, and there didn’t seem to be any bleeding, but that point was moot if she couldn’t get the swelling down. She looked to the heavens. “Tuvok, where the hell are you?”

The day was heating up fast.

Their little outcropping wouldn’t be shaded for much longer and she’d had no luck waking Chakotay. They had to get back to the shuttle if they were going to survive. It wasn’t far, but he was too big for her to carry, especially with her broken ribs. They couldn’t stay here; they’d perish in the heat.

She tried again to wake him and got another groan for her trouble. She had to think something.

Then it hit her. Scrabbling to her feet, she hugged her side and, at a staggering jog, made her way back to the Flyer.

Stepping through the opening, she was hit by the lingering smell of burnt wiring and plasma residue, but the air was clear. She pushed her way to the main controls and began to divert any power she could find to the transporter system.

She cobbled together as much as she could and, after routing controls through to the aft console, made her way to the compartment. She activated the biobed and stood back. “Computer, lock onto Commander Chakotay’s combadge and beam him to biobed one.”

Kathryn hovered close to the controls and gritted her teeth. She prayed there was enough power and had to stop herself from crossing her fingers.

His form began to coalesce on the bed and then began to fade. “Damn. Computer boost confinement beam.” He began to take solid form again. This time it was successful and Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief.

She checked his vitals. They were the same. He was still unconscious but stable for the time being.

She took a moment to just stand there and look at him, her fingers gently sweeping the hair from his forehead.

Cupping the side of his face with one hand and holding her ribs with the other, she leant forward and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. “You had better hold on, Chakotay. We’ve got a lot of things to discuss.”

His colour still wasn’t good, but there was little she could do except keep him comfortable and try to stop him from deteriorating further. Not that she had much control over that either, but if willpower had anything to do with it, she was going to make sure that he survived. It would be too cruel to lose him now.

She stared at him for a moment longer and, satisfied that he was stable, she left the Flyer and headed back to their camp site to retrieve their gear.

By the time she returned, she was drenched in sweat and overheated. Almost falling down the steps into the aft compartment, she dumped her cargo on the floor and stood for a moment as she fought to control her pain and get her breath back.

When she could move again without gasping in pain, she made her way over to Chakotay’s side and checked the computer readouts. He was much the same as he had been before she’d left, but she was relieved to see that he hadn’t deteriorated any further. Dragging a chair over to his bedside, she slid slowly into the seat and tried to relax.

“Computer seal doors and reroute power from all remaining power cells to environmental systems in the aft section. Maintain temperature at twenty five degrees Celsius. Activate homing beacon.” This smaller section of the Flyer would be easier to maintain at these temperatures than the whole flyer. It would extend their survival time.

Well, she hoped so, anyway.

Kathryn winced; Her ribs were agony.

Carrying all the supplies from their makeshift camp had strained them considerably and she wouldn’t be surprised if she’d damaged her lung further. There was little she could do now except sit and wait, so she pulled the last pain killer from the med kit and administered it.

Heaving a sigh, she slumped back in the chair and closed her eyes for a minute. “Computer dim lights.” There was no need for the glaring lights and it would conserve power; there was no way of knowing how long they would be here.

She shifted her chair a little closer to the biobed and laid her hand on Chakotay’s chest. Just being able to feel the warmth of his body and the reassuring rise and fall of his chest soothed her.

Her head began to loll forward and, without really thinking about what she was doing, she rested her head on his arm and fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

She blinked her eyes and squinted at the familiar ceiling of sickbay.

The Doctor’s face slid into her line of sight. “Captain, you’re awake. It’s good to see you.”

“How long?”

“You’ve been in sickbay for almost sixteen hours and you were on the planet for just over twenty four hours. You’ll be pleased to know that your injuries…”

“Chakotay?” She interrupted the Doctor’s spiel and turned her head to the side to see if he was here in sickbay.

The Doctor clucked his tongue and shook his head. Kathryn’s eyes widened and she grabbed at his sleeve. “Chakotay? Doctor, please?”

He frowned. “He wouldn’t remain in sickbay after he’d woken. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.”

“He’s alive?” Her fingers were tangled in a death grip in the fabric of the Doctor’s sleeve and he made a point of prising them off one by one then laying her hand beside her on the biobed.

He gave her an exasperated look. “Yes, he’s very much alive and causing no end of problems. He woke over an hour ago and, once he was given a clean bill…”

Kathryn stopped listening; she was just so relieved that Chakotay was alright. She turned to back to the Doctor and added absentmindedly, “Thank you, Doctor. When can I go back to my quarters?”

The Doctor threw his hands up into the air and rolled his eyes. “Why do I bother? Captain, you were gravely injured, as was the commander. I would like to keep you here for at least another 24 hours.”

“Can I do my recuperating in my quarters, Doctor? I take it I’m no longer on death’s door and I would be much more comfortable there. You can monitor me if you feel it is necessary.”

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest and then realised what she’d said. “Yes, well, that would be a satisfactory compromise. But you call me if you feel unwell, dizzy or disorientated. Your ribs are healed and, although you didn’t have a concussion, you still had a nasty contusion on the side of your head. I’ll be visiting the Commander in two hours time. I’ll drop by your quarters as well.”

Kathryn nodded. “Very well.”

After he’d attached the small monitor to her neck, she shuffled to the edge of the biobed and dropped her feet to the floor. Taking a deep breath, she waited a moment until she regained her equilibrium and then, with a final thank you to the Doctor, strode out of sickbay and straight to the bridge.

She had 2 hours up her sleeve. She’d get a report from Tuvok, check how things were going and be back in her quarters before he was any the wiser.

The lift doors opened on the bridge and the Doctor was waiting in front of them.

He lifted his finger and opened his mouth speak but Kathryn beat him to the punch. “Deck three. Urgent.”

The lift doors snapped shut on the Doctor’s disgruntled face and Kathryn frowned. Damn him.

Her combadge chirped. “Doctor to Captain Janeway. Captain, straight to your quarters, please, and rest, otherwise I’ll have Mr Tuvok escort you back to sickbay.”

She answered through gritted teeth. “Understood.”

Kathryn arrived at her quarters and keyed in the code. The doors slid open and she stepped through the opening, into her private haven. She heaved a sigh. At least she wasn’t in sickbay anymore.

A shower was the first thing on the agenda and, after donning some comfortable clothes, she got a coffee from the replicator and sat down on her couch and looked out the viewport at the passing stars.

She wondered how Chakotay was. Her hand lifted to her combadge and then drifted back down to her lap. She wasn’t sure how to go about dealing with what happened between them on the Flyer. So many emotions. All of them complex in their own way.

She shook her head. They weren’t complex, she just liked to think of them that way. It was another defence mechanism. They were simple really. She loved him and he loved her, it was their situation that made it complicated.

Kathryn noticed her bag from the Flyer sitting just inside her door. Someone must have retrieved it. She checked the time. It was 1400 and today was Chakotay’s birthday.

Grabbing her bag, she pulled out the finished throw and checked it for damage. It smelled a little of smoke and plasma but other than that, it was in one piece.

And so were they, but it had been a close call, again. How many times was this going to happen before they woke up to themselves? Life was too precious to ignore this wonderful gift they’d been given. Each other.

Smiling, she knew what she could do.

She placed the throw in the refresher and, while she was waiting for it to be cleaned, she replicated some wrapping paper and a card.

Kathryn sat for a few minutes and thought carefully about how she was going to word the birthday card. She didn’t want there to be any confusion.

Regardless of whether or not they did anything about their feelings for one another, she wanted him to know that what she’d said on the Flyer under those dire circumstances was the same as what she felt here on Voyager now that they were safe.

With a satisfied nod, she placed the card in the envelope, happy with what she’d written, and then wrapped the throw and marched out of her quarters.

She rang the chime on his door and it opened immediately. He stood as she entered and smiled.

She grinned in return. “Happy birthday, Chakotay.” She walked to his side and kissed his cheek as she handed him his package.

“Thank you, Kathryn. How are you? I just spoke to sickbay and they said you’d discharged yourself. The doctor didn’t sound happy.”

“When is he ever happy with me? Why ruin a proud tradition. He wasn’t all that thrilled with you either. How are you feeling? You had me worried there for a while.”

“I’m fine and thank you. I read Tuvok’s report. You managed to drag enough power to the transporter to get me back to the Flyer. You saved my life, you know.”

“It was a purely selfish act.”

He was looking at her intently. “How’s that?”

She eyes sparkled and she took a step closer to him, placing her hand over his heart. The moment was intense. “I needed you… to take the rap for the broken Flyer. Remember, you’d said you’d take the blame.” She patted his chest and took a step away, grinning.

He laughed and the tension evaporated. “That I did. I’m glad I could oblige.”

She gave him an adoring smile. “So am I.” She took a deep breath, her eyes not hiding her feelings, then she jolted and grinned. “Well, are you going to open it?”

He looked down at the parcel and they sat on the couch. He opened the card first and, after reading it, turned to her. “Do you mean this Kathryn?”

She nodded. “With every part of me. But open your parcel and we’ll discuss it in a minute.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she placed her fingers on his lips and shook her head. “Parcel first.”

Chakotay grinned and nodded, but grabbed her hand and kissed her palm before he began to open the paper. He lifted the throw from the packaging and held it up in front of him. “Did you make this, Kathryn?”

She nodded.

“It’s beautiful. It’s very… ‘you’.”

“I thought it was very…‘you’.” She stroked over the softness of the intricate weave, then turned to him. “Maybe it’s just ‘us’.”

Chakotay draped it over the back of the couch between them and turned towards her. “Now about the card…” He picked it up and read it out loud.

“’Dear Chakotay,

Today marks a milestone. Not only is it your birthday, but, if you are willing, it marks the first day of our lives together.

No parameters, no regulations, just us. I love you, my friend, and in this precarious existence that we live, we’ve tempted fate too many times. Maybe the Gods are trying to tell us something.

My gift to you is us.

Happy Birthday, my love.

Kathryn’”

He placed the card on the table and looked at her. “Are you sure about this, Kathryn? I meant what I said; I love you and have for years. Knowing of each other’s feelings doesn’t have to change anything.”

Kathryn smiled warmly. “But, you see, it has, Chakotay. I can’t ignore it anymore and, before you say anything, this is a good thing. I’m so used to putting my needs and wants aside and, in turn, doing the same with yours. I think we’re secure enough in our command that we can do this. I doubt the crew will mind and, to be honest, I don’t care if they do. It’s a matter of survival, emotional as well as physical. Besides, it might be the only way we get to be alone together. Tuvok’s not going to let us go anywhere together on our own ever again.” She laughed.

Chakotay smiled. “Valid point. He wasn’t pleased. Have you seen him yet?”

Kathryn shook her head. “I went to the bridge but the Doctor cut me off at the pass. I’m in trouble with him too.”

“Well, the doctor is nothing compared to Tuvok. Emotionless, my ass. He was fuming. What do you think he’ll think about this?” Chakotay waved his hand between them.

“You know, I think he’ll just be relieved. He’s known for a long time how I feel. You don’t mind meld with someone and not know all their deep dark secrets.”

“I was a deep dark secret. I’m impressed.”

She smiled and ran her fingers down the side of his face. “Very deep and dark, but I don’t think it was that much of a secret somehow, if Tom’s betting pools are any indication. I think the crew have known that I love you for years.”

Chakotay smiled. “I won’t ever tire of hearing you say that.”

Kathryn leaned forward. “I won’t ever tire of saying it.”

They’d drifted together slowly. Chakotay’s fingers slid into her hair as her hand cupped the side of his face. Their lips hovered close together for a moment and just as they were about to meet, the door chimed and they bolted apart.

They stared at one another and Chakotay shook his head. “Unbelievable.” He stood. “Come.”

The door swished open and the Doctor strode in. “Ah, Captain you’re here too. Excellent. I can kill two birds with one stone.”

Kathryn gave Chakotay a sideways glance. It appeared the doctor had been meddling with his program again.

Chakotay sat down next to Kathryn while the Doctor took his readings, harrumphing and grumping, eventually snapping the tricorder shut. “You’re doing very well, Commander. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated but nothing to concern yourself about. A good meal and an early night are in order. You’ll be well enough for light duties tomorrow.” He moved over to Kathryn and did much the same. She cast another sideways at Chakotay and rolled her eyes. Chakotay smiled. The Doctor prattled on, unaware. “You’re doing adequately, Captain. I see you’ve had coffee already, which would account for your slightly raised blood pressure. No more for the evening. Your orders are the same as the commander’s. A good meal, an early night and light duties tomorrow.” He tucked the tricorder away and looked back and forth between his commanding officers. He frowned and looked more closely at them, then shrugged and turned towards the door. “Call me if you need me. Goodnight, Captain, Commander.”

“Goodnight, Doctor.” They chorused and the door swished shut behind him.

Kathryn and Chakotay turned to one another again. Kathryn smiled. “Now where were we?”

She wriggled closer and slid her hand into his hair and he held her face between his hands.

He whispered against her lips. “Right about here.” Their warm breaths mingled and their lips almost touched when Kathryn’s combadge chirped. They jerked apart.

Her head dropped forward and she swore. “Shit.” Tapping her combadge a little harder than was necessary, she spoke harshly. “Janeway.”

“Captain.” It was Tuvok. She looked up at Chakotay and grimaced.

He lifted his hands in disbelief and mouthed. ‘How does he know?’

Kathryn shrugged and tried not to smirk. “Yes, Tuvok.”

“The Doctor has just sent through his report. I am gratified to see your condition has improved. He informed me that he has ordered light duties for both you and the commander tomorrow. I have rescheduled your start of shift. I will see you at 1000. Shall I inform the Commander?”

Kathryn knew very well that the Doctor would have told Tuvok that they were together. “No, Tuvok its fine, I’m here with the Commander.”

“Very well, Captain. I would like to speak to you tomorrow about away mission protocols. In light of yesterday’s events, I believe that definitive rules need to be established and adhered to.”

“Very well, Tuvok. We can discuss that tomorrow.”

“Aye. Good night, Captain and Commander.”

“Good night, Tuvok.”

Kathryn slumped back on the couch and looked at Chakotay. He tugged on his ear. “See what I mean. He’s cross.”

“I think that rates as furious as far as Vulcans go. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so… emotionless. It’s terrifying. You’re welcome to attend the meeting tomorrow.”

“Gee, thanks.” He slumped back beside her and turned his head towards her. “Maybe we can tell him about this…” He took her hand and kissed it. “that should take the wind out of his sails.”

“You have an evil mind, Commander. But I love it.” In one graceful movement, she swung her leg over his lap and straddled him. “Computer lock Commander Chakotay’s doors. Authorisation Janeway, pi one one zero. Reroute all non urgent messages to Commander Tuvok’s combadge and set wake up alarm for 0800.” She wriggled forward and grinned. “He might terrify me, but I’m still the captain. That should give him something to mull over and I’ve still got Neelix’s security training up my sleeve.” She grinned.

“And you think I’ve got an evil mind. I bow to the master.” He dipped his head and kissed her neck.

Kathryn let her head drop back as he worked his way up towards her ear and squirmed as he found that spot that sent shivers down her spine.

She hummed her approval as he slowly kissed his way along her jaw and finally to her lips. Kathryn pulled away and looked at him.

“Umm, Kathryn? What are you doing?”

“I’m waiting.”

He stared at her. “For what?”

“I don’t know. Something… the door, your combadge, red alert…”

He grinned. “Come here.” And grabbing her around the middle they fell sideways onto the couch. His lips found hers and they kissed deeply. Lips moulded and ground together, tongues delved and tasted. He nuzzled her neck and whispered. “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Oh, the best is yet to come.” She thrust up against him and, with a moan, pulled his face towards her and they were lost.

Clothes were removed in unseemly haste, in between moans of desire and delighted laughter.

Their joining was joyous. Their previous playfulness quieted as they were both struck by the magnitude of the moment. This signified the culmination of years of love, that had not only survived, but grown and deepened over time.

Their gazes held as he gently slid inside her. They wrapped their arms tightly around one another and their bodies rocked together as they began a slow and languorous spiral towards completion. It was a profound moment, a true joining of souls. Their eyes held each other’s gazes and the world around them faded until there was only each other and the love they shared.

They climaxed together, but there were no shouted exultations, no loud exclamations of love, just a quiet, gentle throb of completion, of coming home to the one they loved.

Chakotay pulled the throw from the back of the couch and covered them. They lay together gently stroking and fondling until, weary from the day’s adventure and the evening’s discoveries, Chakotay picked Kathryn up and carried her to bed. They slept wrapped in each others arms until the alarm woke them the following morning.

Kathryn stretched and yawned, then turned into the warmth of Chakotay’s body. “Good morning, my love.” She kissed his chest, her hand stroking over his smooth skin and toying with the scattering of hairs on his chest. “How are you this morning?”

He rolled on his side, resting his head on his hand. “Wonderful.” His face broke into a happy smile. “You look beautiful.”

She was tousled from sleep, all soft and warm. What a delight it was to wake up with her. It was worth a dozen concussions if this was the result, he thought to himself.

She smiled at him.

They had two hours before they had to be on duty, and he was busy imagining what activities they could indulge in to take up some of that time, when she leapt out of bed, smiled over her shoulder and strolled naked into the bathroom. He grinned. She was a bold one, but he already knew that. She was also beautiful and she was his.

That thought stirred him.

Kathryn returned to bed and snuggled up against him. He stroked her hair away from her face and kissed her. She snuggled closer and, within several heartbeats, they were making love. This time Kathryn took the lead, straddling his hips and riding him to a shattering orgasm. Chakotay was left breathless and even more in love.

Kathryn lay over him and studied his face. So handsome and so dear. She traced the lines of his tattoo, something she’d wanted to do for years. Her finger stroked over his brow and down his slightly crooked nose. “How did this happen?” She leaned forward and kissed him.

“A Cardassian boot. A very long time ago.”

Kathryn frowned, they knew so much about one another, but there was still a lot to learn. It was the beginning of another wonderful journey, a glorious adventure. She kissed his nose again. “Will you tell me about it one day?”

Chakotay nodded and kissed her. “Yes, but now its time to shower and face the music. There is a very disgruntled Vulcan waiting for us, and I don’t think that ‘sorry Tuvok, we were too busy making love to be here on time’ is going to work with him this morning.”

Kathryn snorted. “I wouldn’t mind seeing his face if we used that excuse though.”

Chakotay shook his head but silently agreed that it might be worth the backlash.

The clock read 0900 and they hurried out of bed. Kathryn returned to her quarters and at 0945, Chakotay rang the chime on her door, and together they made their way to the bridge.

They stepped out of the lift and Harry spoke from Ops. “Captain on the bridge.”

Kathryn patted Harry’s arm as she went past. “Thank you, Ensign. As you were.”

She stood in the middle of the bridge and looked at the forward view screen. The asteroid field was straight ahead. “I suggest we find a way around that Mr Paris. It’s filled with gravimetric eddies and plasma drifts that the Commander and I became well acquainted with yesterday.”

“Aye, Captain. We had a few close encounters with it yesterday as well.”

“Hmmm, yes, so I understand. Plot a course Mr Paris, and ahead half impulse until you’re clear of the asteroids.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Commander Tuvok, Chakotay. My ready room, please.”

Tom and Harry gave each other a look. They’d been witness to Tuvok’s reaction yesterday and he still wasn’t his usual ‘chipper’ self.

“You have the bridge, Mr Paris, and I suggest that you keep your eyes on the road.” The Captain snapped at him without turning around.

Tom frowned and turned back to the forward viewscreen. “Yes, ma’am.” How did she do that?

The doors snapped shut behind the three senior officers and the bridge crew waited with bated breath. It didn’t take long before a rather stunned looking Tactical officer stepped through the doors and took his place at his station.

He opened a channel. “Mr Neelix. You will report to holodeck one at 1830 today for the commencement of you security training.”

Tom and Harry watched the Vulcan and smirked. It looked like the Captain had worked her magic again. When would Tuvok ever learn?

The doors to the ready room opened again and a smiling Captain and Commander entered the bridge. Tom did a double take. Were they holding hands? His eyes flicked up to the Captain’s and she quirked a brow.

Well, well, well, he thought. Things were looking up. She gave him a stern look and he turned back to the view ahead. With a smile, he manoeuvred them through the last of the asteroids and, dropping the ship into warp, they sped off into the black of space.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat side by side on the bridge and turned to one another. Chakotay’s eyes flicked up to look at Tuvok. He was still looking a little stunned. Leaning forward Kathryn whispered. “Do you think he’s going to be alright?”

Chakotay nodded. “I think he’ll survive, but that’s that last time he’ll try that. I almost feel sorry for him.”

Kathryn sat back in her chair with a contented smile on her face. She gave Chakotay a quick sideways glance and her hand crept across the divide. He took it in his and gave it a quick squeeze. She reluctantly pulled away and rested her hands on the armrests of her chair.

With a contented sigh she crossed her legs and, together, they looked towards the road ahead.

-fin-


End file.
